Ayrılıq Gemi

Freestyle Diving With Sarpa: The Sound of Home in Turkic Imprinting

click on the picture to watch it on youtube

SONGLINE: Dad's Archive, Beş Parmaklı Parmak Et

YER: Far North East Kazakistan

□✔ >>> cultural imprinting, language navigation, suffix-fishing, typography

0101 ninni-gemi | 1:04 | 26 Jun 2021

>>> chain-linked items : character threads

Ayrılıq Gemi

almost dead
or a has-been-dead, at this point you are
progressively forget
your who'of-what-is
your who'of-what-was
to of-what meaning'arrive'ved-had-you-been hey?
just emptiness'lessness
as though of-never-here, not'you-were
outside of terror's perimeter
non-redundantly stagnating'it-is
a tattered fur-coat-throwing snake
waiting
for the last row of your knit to cast off
of {lullaby_ship's departure for
there you were
are you satiated yet?

~iD-ENTiTY

TYPOGRAPHIC IRRITATIONS

Challenges with Turkic Transcriptions
It was difficult and frustrating trying to type the Turkic transcriptions for notes. I can't stand the Turkish keyboard and the asinine problem with (i) VS (ı). I'm still observing signs of the same Microsoft fault from 2003, where systems incorrectly interpret (ı) as an (i) [insert the sound of people trying to pitch arguments about how there's nothing wrong and accusing me of being the problem]. I can't stand the %&#$*#`ing [fi]---| because the typography obscures the dotted i. These types of faults are received as hostile disregard, because it's a form of cancer that didn't die. It signals I'm dealing with a cult that failed to operate on a tumour. It's a culture that permitted the cancer to spread.

I can feel how the dogma of typewriters continues today. It's a frustrating, painful, difficult space---| compounded by my dyslexi`fakcosis issues on top. It's not easy. Forging the linguistic tooling I need to get on with it is hard work.

TURKIC SUFFIX COMPLICATIONS

Suffix-Fishing
It was important to document the following forms of suffix-fishing ( asking >>> the fisherman for help):

ilere'liyereyereklereyekinjeliktçe
sen'in kim'siğinsinizliğini
sen'in kim'diydiğindinlikliğini
sen ne anlama'yasındaydın kı ya?
sadeje boş'altılıjığılık
değil'değildi
artık'sız devam'sızlıyor-ing
bekle'iyoruğuh-ning
ayrıllıq'masığığına

This captures the songlines of Turkic encoding that I was imprinted with from Mum. It's a record of vowel passage, trying to find (swim) my way through the sea. I'm conscious of the complex-specific states of precision I was aiming for and how English is involved (or an active participant). States (things like tense/point-of-view) seem to be stationed more dominantly as English conceptualisations. I'm aware that parts of this type of expression come from the abandoned 4yo level. I've always carried this suffix-fishing issue; it's always been like that. My paternal aunt knew exactly what I was talking about when I tried to explain my difficulty with Turkish. She was even able to mimic my issue herself, and her example was spot-on accurate. I don't know what that phenomenon is called. I don't know if it's regarded as a common impediment, or just something frequent when young children are forming their first words, but my aunt never made me feel bad about being like that. I am conscious my expression is not obstructed by social language norms.

I have no exposure to colloquial expressions, innuendos, or idioms. If someone says «beş kardeş» ...I'm going to think they're talking about 5 siblings. I'm not aware it means I could face a «smack» and I'm not going to see this concept of 5 siblings like a hand with five fingers. The English equivalent of this issue can be seen through the expression of «Pull your socks up!». I know this is a request asking me to get my act together, straighten myself up---| a form of judgement that I'm not performing on par. In Turkish, however, I'm going to be like that kid who thinks the person is asking me to pull my socks up. I'll look down at my socks. If they're down, I'll pull them up ...but if they're already up, the statement isn't going to make any sense to me.

Example of ilere'liyereyereklereyekinjeliktçe
I do feel each example requires dedicated attention, but that's too much work for me right now. I wanted to take note of this one, however, because it captured a form of Flixafluxamatosis (metathesis) that almost seemed like a triangulated expression, which showed how «I really am coming from a far-gone-outer-space».

ilere > irəli - geographically, this signals to me it's Türkiye vs Azerbaijan
ilere > liyərə - this, I could claim is Turkey VS Australis

Interesting to see how my tongue naturally detected how there really was [something amis or wonky] with the word [ilere]. My tongue felt it. It didn't sit right. I couldn't find the through-way for it. That's why I had to go fishing as I did, because my tongue got trip-wired by [ilere] and I'm conscious that the Azeri [irəli] is closer to my home's language.

I don't carry conscious Turkic imprinting from my father, because my relationship with him was in English-only ...however, I feel the eastern flair was passed down to me from him unconsciously ~ because both parents were dominantly speaking in Turkish with me when I was born. The imprinting would've happened during the 0-4yo period, perhaps towards the earlier 0-2yo end of the spectrum, so that could explain why it seems unconscious in the foreground---| but the encoding is present. I've become very aware of it through Azeri---| though it also exists through other Turkic languages as well. Imprinting from both of my parents is frequently triggered through Azeri. The sense of [home] through the soundscape is acute. When I pick up the signal, there's little doubt ~ it feels like a knowing, I'm already acquainted with it, I've already heard it before ...because my family was carrying it. There is a generational element impacting on top of that, because present-day Turkish is not the same language as the pre-1976 editions.

The Azeri link is a dominantly paternal vibe. I haven't had much exposure to Chechen, but that lingo will probably confirm it more for me. The core thread from Mum that plugs into Azeri is through [ə] ...but also how she was the primary weaver of the Turk'ish language. Crimea-Kazak link, felt through my paternal grandmother---| she is linked to the far-east, towards Kyrgyzstan.

ARTISTIC REFLECTIONS

- The fur-coat throwing snake---| there obviously is a THING for snakes, but I don't [love] them. The conceptual link is gaining the ability to travel & navigate through my tongue. Needed to take note of this moment because of how I made other references connected to the [coat] of a snake later on ~ but I wasn't conscious of that at the time of producing the work.
- >>> Sarpa---| the hallucinogenic fish, language weaver. Nice to see how this sample was like her first maiden voyage.
- Language expressed as an underwater experience, noting how this theme continued, but this wasn't a conscious decision. Travelling or sailing underwater'ish---| though seeing it like an outer-space kind of swimming also works, though it feels underwater. The animation captured it nicely.
- The ship is my body navigating the alphabet (Cyrillic) soup ...but Sarpa is the fish doing the steering/driving, helping me with the [fishing] of language. If I try to picture this like I'm on a boat, the boat isn't driving---| it's not quite sailing either, but it is fishing ...similar to how a fish swims freestyle underwater. If you put a fish into an Olympic swimming pool, the movement of the fish is not going to be constrained by rules like «stay in between the lines!». That's what my experience feels like, in Turk'ish.

~ My Name Is Ayça, get used to it

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